Living in a State of Want

I find nature to be very stabilizing; it makes me think about my life and beyond myself.  Lately it’s been the sound of rain that has me thinking.  Thinking that I’m in my warm and comfortable house with limited concerns, plenty to eat and drink.  And still I live in a state of want.  I want new clothes, new shoes, new flooring.  There’s always something I want lurking in the back of my mind.  Sometimes it’s right in the front.  And I have to ask myself, why am I never just content with my life as it is?  Is it because our American culture is trained to want more?  Is it the natural human condition?  Or is it just my own mental wiring that I am always planning and thinking of what to achieve next?  Problem with the last thought is that I don’t appear to be alone in my want.  It’s unnecessary want.  I dont’ want for food, clothing, shelter.  I want for more. 

Of course, the rain making me intraspective, I also think about the people who want in the real sense of the word.  As I sit in my warm, dry home, I wonder about those less fortunate than me.  There are people living on the street, not knowing where their next meal is coming from, just trying to stay dry and warm.  And our winter promises to be very wet and cold this year, so how bad is it going to be for them?  For me, it means inconvenient commutes and paying a bit more for my electricity.  For them, it can mean extreme cold, frostbite, possibly even death.  It’s humbling that I spend so much of my time “wanting” when I really want for very little and have the means to have all I need and ways to make more and earn what I want.

So here’s what I want now.  I want to be more aware of the needs of others.  I want to give more and shop less.  I want to spend more time being content and thankful for what I have and spend less time allowing my imagination to run wild with what more I would like to have.  And I know I can only change the world a little.  But then, what more do I want?

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